well, kiddo, today was your due date. and you and i and your papa are in mexico, far, far away, as planned.

there are days when i wonder if you weren't spared from the heartache and humanitarian crisis that's going to face your generation. and then there are days that i miss you so much it hurts to breathe, and i'm so angry with myself for even thinking that. in the end, no matter all the wishing and thinking, there is no changing the past. but we did get to hold you and say goodbye in september. and we got to hold and say goodbye again today as we set some of your ashes free. i hope you can feel the sun kissing your cheeks, the wind at your shoulders and the water at your heels.

your papa and i talk about you and think of you on a daily basis. one thing that keeps coming up over and over again is how you've taught us to live fully and love freely. you've taught us that it's okay to feel, even if it's bad feelings, in order to let go of them. but mostly you've taught us both to slow down, look at each other, smile, say I love you, and be present in the moment...